Fostering Meaningful and Supportive Relationships

I'll be the hype girl, sister!

Will they see Jesus in us, or women who are constantly at war within themselves

I recently attended a Christian Women's Conference where thousands of other Christian women were in attendance. The event was likely planned a year or more in advance, and we all paid a significant amount to attend. The doors opened an hour before the event started each morning and evening. An hour before the doors opened, several of us were lined up outside waiting. The event was incredible, and the worship was amazing. However, one thing deeply troubled me. After the doors opened for each session, women rushed inside for seats. It had been made clear by those in charge that saving seats was prohibited. One day, three or four ladies from a certain church not only had their bus driver drop them off at the front door, cutting in front of the rest of us in line, but they also rushed to the seating area and proceeded to 'save' 57 seats for their group. This took up an entire three rows of chairs! Our group of just five women, like everyone else, was trying hard to get good seats. When we approached one of these ladies, not yet knowing what they were doing, she very quickly and rudely snapped back at us, 'These seats are being saved; we have a large group on their way inside!'"When I began to attempt to reason with her, and try and explain the unfairness of this whole idea, and she quickly interrupted me, her face obviously flushed with anger.. she white-knuckle gripped the backs of the chairs in front of and behind her, and tightly clenched her jaw as she growled back at me through gritted teeth "I said these seats are taken!"

I was blown away. I could not believe the aggression on display in this woman. Of course, over all, I could only think how ironic and sad it was that we were there to worship Jesus, and women were literally ready to pummel each other over a chair! Later that night, I was discussing this with my husband, and I said "Oh, you know, just your typical mean old church lady.."As harsh as that description sounded, it is true that us church ladies have some of the worst reputations for our bad attitudes. It's shameful to even type that, but it's the truth. Some of the worst treatment I have ever received from another human being has been at the hands of some "good old church women" that I once considered friends. This got me to thinking.. we have got to do better, ladies.

Creating friendships where there's no jealousy, backstabbing, competition, or gossip is SO worth the time invested and hard lessons learned.

Let's aim to be women that lift each other up and help carry each other during the hard stuff. No more shallow friendships and no more shade, y'all. That's one of my deepest commitments now because, I'm ashamed to admit, that I was that "friend" for so many years.

This ain't high school, ladies. If we want to grow, be blessed, and reach people for Christ, all the "mean-girling" needs to stop, especially in the church. It's time to live authentically, as we're called to. We were created for MORE, and believe me.. when you find more, it changes you.

If the LORD separates you from people you used to be close with, let Him. Let the Lord lead and direct your path, and hers. Don't hate on people you've grown apart from. Wish them well, and clap from afar.

If we used to be close, and we aren't anymore, I pray that you find authentic, beautiful connections with others. I will rejoice to see you happy and blessed! Nothing but love, sis!

If you betrayed me in the past, know that the Lord didn't allow me to move on until I forgave you. It's in the past, sis, and I pray that you learn from your mistakes, repent of your sin, and blossom into the authentic woman that God created you to be.

If I betrayed you, I pray that the Lord would help you to forgive me for being the wretch of a person that I was at the time. I pray you would be able to forgive me, release the hurt, and live in the freedom Christ has called us to. I know from experience how difficult it can be, but I also know from experience that God can walk you through it, and there is nothing better than living in liberty. There isn't a hurt or offense on this earth worth forfeiting your freedom for.

The world is watching, ladies, and there's too much at stake. Will they see Jesus in us, or women who are constantly at war within themselves?

God is just TOO good for us to be BAD!