Lessons Learned in the Fire..

A Sobering Reality: Not everyone who professes to be your friend is a genuine friend..

That may seem simple enough, but I used to genuinely believe that all of those who claimed to love and support me actually did.. The truth is, however, some individuals form temporary associations with you, motivated by the prospect of gaining benefits such as social status, financial advantages, favors, influence, attention, or enhanced self-esteem. While these individuals may be skilled at masquerading as friends while pursuing these perceived benefits, their true loyalty is revealed when they decide they no longer have anything to gain from you or when they believe someone else offers more benefits.

As emphasized in Proverbs 17:17, "A friend loves at all times.."

It is essential to recognize that veneration is not equivalent to love, intrusion does not constitute connection, imitation is not worthy of praise, and minimal effort is simply not sufficient. All relationships go through seasons, and there will be times when more effort is necessary from one person than the other. Life throws us curve balls and foul plays, and sometimes we need to retreat. This is just part of life.

At times, I’ve been the friend who pushed other friends away, so I can understand being in that place. This has been especially true when I’ve come face-to-face with my own unhealed trauma, faced old wounds being reopened, walked with my children through seasons of great difficulty, and navigating the painful path of grief. In spite of this flaw (among others), I can honestly say that I’m not a disloyal friend.

Loyalty and trust, in any relationship, should never be compromised. They are the two most important foundational elements of any meaningful relationship because all other aspects of a healthy relationship are built upon them. If the foundation is broken, nothing else can be trusted to stand. Having experienced more than my fair share of mediocrity in friendships, I have learned to mirror the energy invested. If genuine effort is demonstrated, I reciprocate. Conversely, if efforts extended on my part are met with indifference, I reevaluate that connection in my life. I will not chase. If you want to walk away, I will send you off in peace. I have no room left in my life for mediocrity- not in my faith, not in my marriage, not in my parenting, and not in my friendships.

Anything worth doing is worth doing well, sisters

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